I’ve just put Brodie down to sleep, his last bedtime as a one year old. I should probably warn you this post is likely to be indulgent and overly emotional. Just so you know.
Two years ago I ate 3 giant smarties cookies while bouncing on my gym ball, feeling the first stirrings that our baby was finally on the way. 2 years ago it was snowing heavily and Greig tried not to look too concerned as I began pacing around our living room producing stranger and stranger noises as the hours passed. 2 years ago we made our way to the labour ward leaving our pedantically packed bags full of essentials in the car. And 2 years ago our lives changed more dramatically than we could have ever imagined.
When you are pregnant with your first child people are full of wisdom and advice. Some helpful and some not so much, but all well meaning. Friends and family told us ‘your lives will change so much, just you wait’, which at the time we regarded as kind of obvious and slightly patronising. How could your life not change? Surely that’s kind of the point? What nobody told me though, was that I was going to change. From the moment they handed me that tiny body, I was completely altered. Brodie looked at us like he had known us forever, which of course he had, we were all he had ever known. And suddenly it clicked, this child is looking to us to protect him, guide him, cherish him, challenge him, love him for the rest of all our lives together. Heck, the whole world has changed in an instant.
And what a magnificent two years have followed. The thing they say where having a child is like having your heart walk around outside your body? That’s it. When they say a child is the smallest thing you ever put your whole life into? That’s true as well. Brodie has made us a family, has taught us (some) patience, humility, poo humour, to slow down, to speed up and to laugh every single day.
You made me a mum little boy and I love you.
So much, I made you pink marshmallow cakes x