No one said it was going to be easy

Children are quite miraculous. They grow from tiny, mewling newborns to bouncing babes to rambunctious toddlers quick as a flash. It’s really amazing to witness. The physical growth is easier to observe although the changes that take place in their brains is just was amazing but sometimes harder to quantify. For example toddlers and preschoolers just don’t have much impulse control. Fact. Actually I can think of lots of adults who don’t either but I digress. There have been a few occasions when Greig and I have watched Brodie do something on the ‘naughty’ list and felt like it was unfolding in slow motion. They get the idea in their head to do whatever misdemeanour occurs to them at the exact same moment your adult brain thinks the same thing and before you know it the juice is dumped or the eye poked or the shriek is emitted and it’s too late. They just don’t have any thinking time between awesome idea and the action itself, it’s all one thing and it’s all fun until someone gets hurt. So that’s when you need someone who has (some) impulse control to keep you on the straight and narrow. It’s not being naughty, toddler brains genuinely haven’t developed the capability to project into the future and consider consequences and they have no experience to draw upon.
Small children are the centre of the world. Fact. We are all of course able to learn how to be less selfish and considerate towards others but that’s a very hard lesson. Learning to walk – pah, easy, learning to share – have you lost your mind Mum? Why would I share?
We’ve had a good week here. Brodie has learned lots of new things. Making playdoh mountains that have portholes in them. Going for a pee entirely on one’s own, with flushing and hand washing. Using scissors with metal blades properly. But he still thinks the world should dance to his beat because at three, that’s exactly what he should think. We are working on sharing, not whining, being grateful, using our words to express ourselves and we will be for a long time. In fact I hope Brodie never stops working on those things because they are what holds us all together.
I’ve been tough on him this week. No treats (except lots of time and attention), no new toys or books and trips out (not including bike rides and park visits). Why? Because it’s not funny when it’s your child pitching a fit because he ‘wants’ something. It makes me cringe to hear him whining in public because I, like every parent I know, mistakenly thought I could avoid that happening.
It’s not easy (it never is), to be the bad guy all the time. And it’s exhausting but I know that I have to step in and help Brodie make the right choice when he’s not able to. I have to help him open his view of the world to include considering others. I have to discipline him because I love him more than I ever thought possible.


One thought on “No one said it was going to be easy

  1. – We are working on sharing, not whining, being grateful, using our words to express ourselves and we will be for a long time.
    Just so you know am working on the exact same with Uncle (or aunty to Brodie) Sean.
    So good luck!

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